“Every experience is a paradox in that it means to be absolute, and yet is relative; in that it somehow always goes beyond itself and yet never escapes itself.”
– T. S. Eliot
One of my favorite quotes and ridiculously fitting given the bizarro world I’ve been living in of late.
I spent spent most of my twenties in the same long term relationship in which I was really pretty middle aged old-married at far too young an age. When that relationship ended, I spent the past year and some change making up for my dissolute twenties being not so dissolute with some wonderful friends and some silly but ultimately harmless bad decisions and generally the kind of stories one expects to get out of their twenties. And then, well, I met someone.
Not just someone. I met an amazing man who called me even though I told him I absolutely didn’t expect him to. Who voluntarily started what was basically a long distance relationship, temporary as it was. And suddenly I find myself with the boy-thing and his adorable four year old son and a dog and a gorgeous condo in Potrero Hill all waiting for me, should the cards fall correctly. Nearing the end of my twenties I suddenly find myself spending Friday night flipping through a copy of Real Simple while sipping a chai latte with a friend at a bookstore cafe after a quick phone call to check in with the boy-thing. If geography were no issue, I have a feeling tonight would have entailed dinner and watching the Giants game on the couch, or maybe at The Connecticut Yankee.
I have to admit, I like the look of that scene. And that’s more than a little paradoxical.